An Honest Review for 2019

Do you remember the moment sometime last year where we felt hopeful and inspired to start afresh in 2019? We then proceeded to jot down our goals for the year and went into the year feeling that 2019 will be a defining year.

Fast forward to the end of 2019, I guess it felt like de jevu, all over again, back to reviewing the past year, goal setting and encouraging ourselves that the new year will bring new changes.

Some of our goals will be achieved while others will seem like a “failure”. Personally, I did achieve some of mine but I remind myself not to put myself down for not achieving the rest.

There is a fine line in making sure that we are accountable to our commitments and goals and bashing ourselves and making it more than it should be, thus demoralising our own spirit.

So this post is just a quick reminder on the importance of goals, an honest reflection and the way forward.

1. Goals

As the name suggests, they define our goal posts, areas for us to score, so that we know we have achieved something. Without them, we would be aimless. Thus, to have a successful year, we have to be clear with what we want to achieve.

2. Reflection

Reflecting on our past years help us identify bumps on the roads that caused us to not reach our target and goals. Reflecting gives us perspectives and at times, takes away the subconscious guilt that we do place on ourselves for not achieving something. Reflection (honest one) gives us knowledge and power to set us up for probable success in the new year ahead.

3. Way Forward

The simplest way would be to list a new sets of goals for the new year. However, a more effective way and efficient one would be to use the information gathered from our reflections (point 2) and implement strategies to help us cope and ensure the rate of success in achieving our goals rises.

Every “failure” and moments of work are great learning experiences. While many of us (in this perfectionist and well informed society) may not like the trial and error process, great inventions and moment of brilliance in life were still products of this timeless strategy. We should never let lack of information or the need for a perfect strategy stop us from moving forward.

I guess the best way to look at 2020 is to head into it with renewed hope, an improved strategy, and the guts and tenacity to do our best to make it better than 2019.

If only…

If only I had chosen that path, I would have been so much more successful now.
If only I had not say that, she may not have hated me so much.
If only I did that, I would have gotten my promotion.
If only…

“If only” is a phrase that has more negative than positive ones.


“If only” makes you feel lousy about a choice that you have made. It makes you wallow in the negative emotions of knowing that you have made a wrong move. Yes, you are doing the right thing by reflect but the way you usually use this phrase is unhealthy. You are beating yourself up for not making the wisest choice. Life is never about being right. Life is about learning. An unwise or wrong decision helps us learn to choose better the next time and prevent an “If only” moment.

Every opportunity to choose is an opportunity to learn. Take that opportunity to hone your skills at making wise and better decisions but never beat yourself up if it turned out not the way you have expected.

Happiness and success relies on positive vibes and energy. Reflect on the past with the proper lens that is positive and you will take out valuable lessons about decision making from it. Never let your past judgement or decision tell you how lousy or stupid you are because everything happens for a reason, even a unwise decision.

Change the way you talk to yourself and you will change the way your life unfolds.

Instead of “If only”, say “I will… (say/do a certain thing when a similar situation or choice presents itself)… the next time.”