If only I had chosen that path, I would have been so much more successful now.
If only I had not say that, she may not have hated me so much.
If only I did that, I would have gotten my promotion.
“If only” is a phrase that has more negative than positive ones.
“If only” makes you feel lousy about a choice that you have made. It makes you wallow in the negative emotions of knowing that you have made a wrong move. Yes, you are doing the right thing by reflect but the way you usually use this phrase is unhealthy. You are beating yourself up for not making the wisest choice. Life is never about being right. Life is about learning. An unwise or wrong decision helps us learn to choose better the next time and prevent an “If only” moment.
Every opportunity to choose is an opportunity to learn. Take that opportunity to hone your skills at making wise and better decisions but never beat yourself up if it turned out not the way you have expected.
Happiness and success relies on positive vibes and energy. Reflect on the past with the proper lens that is positive and you will take out valuable lessons about decision making from it. Never let your past judgement or decision tell you how lousy or stupid you are because everything happens for a reason, even a unwise decision.
Change the way you talk to yourself and you will change the way your life unfolds.
Instead of “If only”, say “I will… (say/do a certain thing when a similar situation or choice presents itself)… the next time.”