When things do not go right, we always have the tendency to do one thing – complain. This is the first response for most of us humans.

This is unfortunate because not only is it counterproductive, complaining usually makes us feel worse off emotionally.

Why do we “like” to complain or choose to complain? I guess it is because it is the easiest thing to do. It kinda gives us the justification that the next logical step to take is not from us, our end but that someone or something that we are complaining about. It gives us a reason to not think creatively because the issue is not with us, or so we would love to think.

When an employee does not perform as required, it is not uncommon to see employers blaming them for their incompetence but seldom see them take ownership and reflect if their instructions to their employees were clear enough. Complaining helps defray the complainant’s responsibility from having to take proactive actions.

So what is the alternative?

Without complicating it unnecessarily, it is as simple as take a step back, reflect and look for avenues where you can make a change or tweak to effect a better outcome. Instead of asking why, learn to ask what? Instead of why is he or why the external is the cause, ask what can I, the only constant in the equation, do in future to facilitate a more favourable outcome.

In the example above, instead of blaming the employee for his incompetence, look for areas where you can guide him towards effective work. This is, of course, taking into consideration that the individual is willing to commit to learn.

Lesser complaints also make us happier human beings. It saves us from unnecessary emotions that do not serve anyone, especially the complainant.

It is not easy but it is not hard either. It is a habit and the more we practice it, the better we become at it!