Feeling rather isolated in the office lately. That’s because some stuff happened. However, I am not going to into the details. It was just some bad misunderstandings, which resulted in some unhappiness. This is what life is all about, human relationships… Haha! It can make you and it can certainly break. I did my part in moving forward into reconciliation. But I guess the misunderstanding is too deep for that move to materialise any time soon. Friends, 2 to be exacet, whom I used to joke and have fun with during office hours are now so distant! I know that I was not at fault and I have tried talking to them. It was their hard shell that deterred me from going any further.
I was rather affected by this and at times, it does run havoc in my mind! I tried to be positive and forgiving. I tried not to think too much and I tried not to put thoughts on how they view me in my mind. I pushed them away. This is how much I am affected! Now, work is a drag throughout the day, not as loud as compared to the past. However, I am certainly learning to cope and I am proud to say that I am coping well as each day passes.
Why? This is because I am not going through this alone. I get the emotions. Then, like a passing baton, I lift it up to God. I am reading this book, “Have you felt like Giving Up lately,” and today, I read about the topic on spiritual dryness. The author shared on how we must maintain a life of prayer. This is one area that I am trying to do more. When feeling of isolation comes, I will take a minute off work and let God takes over.
Today after lunch, this sense of isolation came and I was really despaired. I managed to grab a piece of paper and then started penning my thoughts, how I felt and out from the heart flows all my tears. The emotions rushed out as I began to write. After pouring out my thoughts, I asked God to give me freedom from this. To be honest, I did not feel the freedom immediately. It is only now that I realised that I am free… The thoughts were not as strong and I am certainly happier. It certainly helps to incorporate God in all of my issues, good or bad. However, it is only during bad times that we bring Him in. Haha… During thriving seasons, God, for me, is often forgotten. Maybe once in a while, I will say “Thank God” casually and not really mean what I say. To think back, I really do feel a bit bad! It is like I am just using Him. Hmm…
Lord, I pray that you will help me appreciate you ALL the days of my life, not only in bad times but also in GOOD times!
I certainly enjoy this book that I am reading now. I enjoy flipping through each and every page, reading through each and every word! I will certainly be blessed! I believe not in the book but in God who brought his book to me, to encourage me! Thank you, Lord!